Friday, May 29, 2015

Love Actually

Love and me have always shared some incongruity. Like a typical bollywood fan, I have been obsessed with the idea of true love from the 1001 shades of love in the movies.My idea of love is that blissful feeling when one embraces one’s beloved drenched in rain with the subtle background music of piano playing from nowhere.
Throughout my teenage years, movies were my counselors on love. They taught me that all the genuine love stories have been plagued by family opposition always. Through the songs where the hero proudly declared that anyone casting a sight on his beloved would meet dire consequences, I was convinced that when my prince charming would arrive, he would declare to the world that I belong to him and only him.Then there was revenge too. That love turns to hate syndrome, where a vamp lures the hero and the heroine decides to take revenge, not by firing a pistol but by a beauty makeover : Manicured nails, straightened hair, short skirts and painted lips. And then there is the introductory dance too after the makeover which leaves the hero panting to get her back. Sweet revenge simplified.Also, for true love to foster, hero and heroine need to stay together, all the time. They wink at each other during classes, whisper to each other in lovey dovey voice at night, party together, eat together, cry together, dance together and in the heat of the moment, in an isolated hut of a desolated jungle, sleep together too.
After all, true love is all about being with each other.As I made a transition from my teens to my tweens, I gulped in more and more gyaan on true love from movies. When the time was right, I decided to transform the hypothetical into practical. In short, it was time to practice what was preached by all these amazing movies.Just like Aamir Khan in PK, I was so confused and puzzled. I observed that in real time, most of the problems that erupted between the lover and beloved were not because of their family, friends or neighbors, it was solely because both of them lacked understanding and respect. And sadly there was no music or dance sequence that would heal the wounds of a bitter quarrel and make everything happily ever after again. And above all terms like ‘Respect, Understanding, Affection,’ etc were so bookish and Alok Nath types. Who cared about them anyway?Then there was revenge. When one is in love, you are mine and I am yours becomes the gospel. Period. You talking to some being of opposite sex or clicking a photo on Facebook leads to a simple situation: “Kill or Get Killed.”
In real time, the fact that two individuals promised to love each other while gulping champagne proves the fact that one speaking to someone is a crime, it will make the other jealous and in turn they will transform each other's life to hell.
You're Mine Only Mine‬ I was miffed with movies. There was no concept of LDR (Long Distance Relationships) in them. The phone bills, the cravings, the insecurities, the video calls, the time differences, the longings were completely unaddressed to. This wasn't fair!
The beauty makeover also doesn't help in this case. Nor does the ‘I am with you all the time’ desire. Most of the times, sleep becomes more necessary than love.‘So what is this elusive feeling called love?’ One kept bugging oneself with this nagging question. The answer however was profoundly simple, “Love is not makeup, it is not possessiveness,it is not revenge, it is not the craving,it is not the obstinacy to change someone, it is simply a way of life, unconditional, pristine and beautiful.”It is the silent curve in your lips of reminiscence when you see two lovers holding each other on a bike, it is the innocence of the just out of bed look of your beloved, it is the naughty teasing and giggles with your beloved when someone tries flirt with them, it is letting go of a person who was completely incompatible with you, it is the unconditional acceptance of the other with no judgement, it is patience, understanding, respect and trust.
Above all it is that fulfilling feeling that mesmerizes the other person after it has left you mesmerized.To love you have to be free from vices, you have to open your heart without fear and shower unconditional affection on the other person with no expectations. When you do that, all the noise and cacophony will subside and what will remain is the subtle tune of the piano, this time it will emerge from your own heart

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